10 Tips to create the life I want, when the life I have is kicking my @ss.

10 Tips to create the life I want, when the life I have is kicking my @ss.

Honestly, the biggest challenge of being a deliberate creator, a master manifester, or an effective alchemist is creating during challenging times.  It takes a copious amount of mental fortitude to push through and press forward despite the proverbial walls closing in on you. Being completely transparent, I have been guilty of allowing ebbs of life to stop my flow.  Those ebbs come in the form of a bad health diagnosis, relationship drama, parenting probs, divorce, shady business partners, annoying relatives, narcissistic people, money problems, delayed progress, and even the death of a loved one.  Whatever the ebb may be, we all know how internally tough and mentally stifling difficult situations can be.  


In our microwave “Don’t look up” society, there is this false belief that our difficult moments or chapters in life can be simply treated on the surface versus being fully processed in a meaningful way.  Often the focus is on getting out of the difficult moment, versus accepting it, taking a close look at it, and using it as fuel to create something better.  After a fire is put out there is always an investigation to reveal the cause.  Yet during the times when life is kicking our ass, we would rather just stop the bleeding with a bandaid vs discover and remedy the cause.  That shallow level of problem-solving that leaves the root cause unaddressed, tends to yield a karmic cycle of repeated lessons.  You know those lessons where you keep falling for the wrong person, making fake friends, none of your bomb business ideas explode, or every time you think you got it together, the shit falls apart.  These lessons are ours to own, sit with, and digest.  It is a critical step in the alchemical process.  The alchemist uses that which is tarnished/ looked over and transforms it into something that radiates with.  



In this new year, let’s all become more comfortable with really digesting our ebbs so we can manifest bigger flows.  Here are TEN tips to Biohack your life and create the life you want while going through a difficult moment:


  • BREATHE 
  • Sounds simple enough.  But I am not referring to the involuntary shallow breaths.  I am talking about consciously breathing and deliberately working on your BREATHWORK.  Breath is a conduit of LIFE, and without breath, there is no human life.  Taking that into consideration, Breathwork is so important to help us get out of our head and our EBB and into our bodies and the Flow that we desire.  Taking long deep breaths, inhaling love and healing energy while filling our bodies and blood with oxygen, and exhaling to release all that does not serve you is a powerful, life-changing practice. GET INTO IT!


  • BE
  • Here is the thing.  When you make that bed, you have to lay in it.  You do not have to stay in it.  But you have to be present in your EBB and the situation that you are dealing with.  Instead of ignoring it and not dealing with it, learn to accept what is before you. Give yourself a moment to be in the thick of it. Forgive yourself.  There is nothing to be scared of and there is nothing you can not Face.  SO stop turning your back to escape, and turn around to face the music.  Because you are the Conductor.


  • OWN IT
  • There is power in facing your issues.  However, there is greater power in owning them.   We get so used to blaming the narcissist that we forget it was our lack of boundaries, lack of self-love, even our wounded neediness that opened the door.  When we exam the role we played in our tough chapters, it allows us to self-correct the behavior and address the cause.  When we don’t own it, we are owned by someone or something else.  And that's just a NO for me.  I would much rather own my screw-ups and address them than blame others and keep getting screwed over in the meantime. It deepens your relationship with yourself, and lets you know it is okay to make a mistake.  It’s like taking the unspoken pressure off and creating more self-compassion.  Take accountability for your role in the EBB.  It’s OK!


  • Universal Law of Polarity
  • Look it up.  This is one of my favorite Universal Laws when I am going through an EBB.  My version is, “On the other end of this bullshit I am dealing with, is exactly what I desire.  And I can transmute the pain, the tears, the frustrations to catapult myself to that other end.” This Law always brings me comfort when difficult times present themselves. Tony Robbins' version is, “The law of polarity is the principle that everything has two “poles”: good and evil, love and hate, attraction and disconnection. Think of the North and South Poles on a globe or a battery with its negative and positive terminals. Everything in the universe has an opposite. Everything is dual.” The tricky part is not getting stuck on the undesirable end, but using the power of transmutation to create what is desired.

    Check out Abraham Hicks, she is a Master Sensei on youtube. I truly invite you to jump down that rabbit hole.  It is liberating.  


  • FOCUS
  • HOCUS, POCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS. After you have cried about it, talked about it, journaled about it, and been depressed about it, it is now time to FOCUS out of it.  Write down the lessons you have learned from this EBB. Because that the main reason why this ebb came up, to reflect something in you that needed to be addressed.  Then write down the strategy for addressing it.  It may be a better diet, time management, clear boundaries, budgeting, doing your inner child work, or a combination of several things.  The FOCUS should be on the strategy for not only your EBB but also your FLOW.  That is the end goal, and FOCUS is required to get there. The flow is where the sweet, yumminess of life resides.  These ten tips will get you back there.


  • FAITH
  • When the outside distractions are telling you NO, you have to go within and have faith for your YES.  YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOU. You have to believe in your vision and goals before anyone else can jump on board.  Your faith in you gives others a reason to believe in you. Versus, you looking for outer approval from others to simply believe in yourself.  You have to keep having faith in your vision for your health, your family, your love life, your business, your lifestyle even when you are on that POLAR opposite.  A deep knowing, regardless of what is present.  When it is not present it can be difficult to believe, yet the more you believe the more it becomes present.  Manifestation is just another word for active faith.  I have personally found that these EBBS are there to increase our FAITH.  So get clear on your desire and BELIEVE!!!! Have faith, and know that NO ebb could ever completely stop your FLOW.  Ase!


  • FUCK IT
  • YES, Fuck IT.  I mean sometimes you are going to have to say Fuck IT to your inner critic and the negative self-talk that keep reminding you of the unpleasant situation.  Give yourself that space to say Fuck it.  There is an unspoken surrender in Fuck IT. Especially, when you have FOCUS and FAITH that things are always working out for your highest good as they always are.  Fuck it can help you get out of your head, and get back to doing the things that you need to do to move forward.  That fuck it, to let go of what does not serve you and release it, always makes room for more expansion and something so much greater.  Trust me, Fuck it can be therapeutic when you just let it out, let go, release the pain and frustration.  


  • VISUALIZE
  • What we visualize, we crystalize.  So it is important to give yourself a moment to be in the EBB and process it, to prevent it from getting stuck on a loop in your head.  Once you face the issue head-on, you can visualize something so much better and clearer for yourself.  Our imagination is so dynamic, connect with it.  Begin to use your mind to imagine again.  The visions and stories we have on repeat create our next experiences.  So it is important to take time and see yourself as who you want to be and where you want to be.  Visualize the highest version of yourself, Visualize that FLOW, Visualize things working out and how satisfying it feels.  Powerful Visualization that causes one to feel euphoric joy, speeds up your creations.  It is a true Biohack.  Try it.


  • TALK THAT TALK
  • Get used to hearing you, speak energetic and positive affirmations over your life.                                                                                                              Spellcasting 101, Talk your Talk, unapologetically.  Remind yourself of who you are.  Our words are so powerful, that is why it is not enough to simply read affirmations.  You have to speak them from your mouth, out loud into the universe with high energy from your solar plexus.  That’s how you hack your manifestations.  The Universe, GOD, our Ancestors love when we pop off and speak abundance, love, joy, peace, and good health over our lives.  The Divine supports our dominant thoughts and words.  So tell yourself you are learning divine wisdom from the Ebb, and you will grow from it.  Speak your affirmations with joy, vigor, and gratitude.  Make it a habit, this is not a one-and-done practice.




  • TAKE ACTION
  • Faith without works is dead.  It is the same way in manifestations and alchemy.  You have to take action to transmute the mundane into the magical.  Transmute is a verb, which means a level of action is required. It is your life, so stop drifting and start engaging.  No one is going to save you. No matter how spiritual you are, you have to put your hands to the clay. This puts you in a position to receive the FLOW. You can actively be taking steps to save yourself and others can support YOUR ACTION.   Not the other way around.  It is your life, you are the writer, the director, and the star.  So stop waiting and start living.  LIFE FAVORS the BOLD.



    With LOVE, 



    BBA

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